Not Crying is Not Mean Men Not Sad

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Crying is a behavior that humans have had since they were first born. In many ways, crying is one way of communicating, whether inter-human, human with the surrounding, or with itself.

Initially, this form of communication is manifested in the relationship of mother and baby. When a baby is hungry, thirsty, and uncomfortable, he will cry. This habit then develops as he matures.

As adults, crying as a form of communication is manifested when humans feel uncomfortable. The condition that puts people in discomfort will trigger the rise of emotion, which is sometimes wreaked out with anger or also crying.

The condition is a form of human communication with others, to simply ask for more attention or media to make others more understanding of the intention to be conveyed. Crying can also be a form of communication with someone himself. However, crying is one way to bring someone into their own contemplative space.

From this crying phenomenon in humans, we often encounter differences in the intensity and 'ability' of crying between women and men. If viewed from the intensity, according to research Professor Ad Vingerhoets of Tilburg University, Netherlands, women cry more often than men.

"On average, women can cry 30 to 64 times a year, while men only cry six to 17 times a year," Vingerhoets said, as quoted by the Telegraph.

In his book Why Only Humans Weep, Vingerhoets also explains that there is a time difference between women and men crying. After he interviewed more than 5000 people from 37 countries, he found that 66 percent of men crying less than five minutes and 24 percent others cry for 6-15 minutes.

Unlike men, according to Vingerhoets' findings, 43 percent of women cry in less than five minutes, and 38 percent of women cry for six to 15 minutes. In addition, women who cry 16-30 minutes are two times more likely than men who cry at the same time.

Meanwhile, Anne Kreamer, in her book It's Always Personal: Emotion in the New Workplace also explains the differences between women and men in relation to the frequency of crying. Kreamer teamed up with advertising agency J. Walter Thompson in a survey of 1,200 working Americans. He found that gender affects the frequency of someone's crying.

"As many as 41 percent of women have been crying in their office last year, compared with men who are only 9 percent," said Kreamer.

Is gender difference a scientific reason to explain the phenomenon?

Parvizi in the journal Nature Neuroscience explains what happens when humans cry. The process begins with an endocrine system that sends hormones to the ocular area to activate tears. The brain then releases the human favorite hormone, namely cortisol. This hormone makes the body want to hit people or mourn the sadness under the shower.

Usually when we are about to cry, the throat will feel uncomfortable, like sudden inflammation or there is a stone that cannot be swallowed even drinking. This symptom occurs due to the work of the hormone cortisol which also makes the throat tense.

Usually, people will feel more relieved after the tears come out through tears. This is the influence of the Leucine-Enkephalin hormone, and the endorphins that come out together with the tears coming out of the cheeks. These hormones reduce the pain and improve mood.

Associated with the 'ability' of women and men to cry, Dr. Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatric expert at the University of California, San Francisco, also discussed this. In addition to the cultural affairs that "boys do not cry," there are indeed biological factors. There are differences in tear gland cells between men and women.

A man has bigger tear ducts, making it stronger in holding back tears. In addition, Brizendine explains the hormone testosterone that prevents men from crying. This hormone is not owned by women.

"Men are taught not to cry, it is helped by the presence of testosterone that helps boost the threshold between emotional stimuli and tears. Louann Brizendine was quoted as saying by the Wall Street Journal.

Akintunde J. Kehinde, biochemistry researcher Kwara State University, Nigeria, in his research titled Tears Production: Implication for Health Enhancement states that the tendency to cry between men and women is almost the same before puberty.

Only after puberty will girls produce prolactin hormone 60 percent higher than men. The hormone prolactin is wrong a hormone that triggers the release of tears.

"It's no wonder that after puberty, women are four times more likely to cry than men," said Kehinde.

Dr. William H. Frey, neurologist and biochemist at St. Hospital. Paul also explained the association of prolactin hormone with the ability to cry. He mentioned that one of the hormones that cause tears is prolactin, which becomes a lactation catalyst. In addition to functioning in producing milk, prolactin also helps the production of tears. By the time women reach the age of 18, they have a prolactin level 50-60 percent higher than men.

"We believe this is one of the reasons women are more likely to cry," said Dr. William H. Frey, a neurologist and biochemist at St. Paul's Hospital.

The hormone prolactin is more produced women. So, it can be understood if men are more difficult to cry. Moreover, they also produce testosterone that serves to suppress tear production and emotional regulation in men.

In short, the ability of men to hold back tears is the scientific formation of the body's functional system. Therefore, crying-or-not-crying cannot be an indicator of a man's sensitivity. When a man does not cry when faced with difficulty or sadness, he is not automatically rigid, strong, or insensitive. Men cannot cry? The more precise is: men are not easy to shed tears.

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How Highly Sensitive Person Personality?

People who react easily because of emotional hooking are categorized as highly sensitive person.

According to research. Elaine Aron, one of five people in the world is highly sensitive person

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A friend was seen crying while watching the segment of the elimination of a competition on television. There was a college friend who felt restless when the environment turned noisy. Once one of the co-workers felt so guilty when his boss made a scathing remark about his job, to the extent he chose to stay home and was reluctant to have fun on weekends.

There are people who have a tendency to bring a feeling aka baper. Unmitigated, former president Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono during a press conference to question about wiretapping against him, responded to Twitterland-one of them with a #SBYBaper tagar. What happened to the baper?

On many occasions, these people devote their hearts to the closest relations or social media. A number of people feel fine with this, but not a few who sneer this emotion-based action.

"Do not be too heart-picked," the sentence they usually receive whenever feels slumped or disturbed after a conflict or unexpected things. The more often they hear it, the more often they confine themselves or cry in secret. Some of the women even heard the relatives whisper, "Most PMS, so sensitive so."

In fact, not only hormone changes that cause a person to become more emotional in the appeal surrounding. It is also not always synonymous with the Eve alone.

From the eyes of psychology, people who easily react because of emotional hooking is categorized as highly sensitive person. The person who is easily reacted to emotional hooking is categorized as highly sensitive person.istik is similar but not the same as empathy. In the Chakra Center website, psychologist and author of The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron (1997) defines a highly sensitive person as a person who has an awareness of the little things around her and is easier to feel overwhelmed when in an environment that really stimulates her senses.

People with high empathy are said to be sensitive to the energies around him, but he focuses his attention more on the experiences and feelings of others or in other words, share the feelings of others. Meanwhile, highly sensitive person makes himself a central attention. When faced with a tragedy experienced by a relative, the empathy will position itself in the circumstances of the relative, while the "baper" will relate the tragedy of his relative to his own life and bring this emotional situation farther than an empathyist.

Dr. Ted Zeff, a psychologist and author of The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide, also expressed his understanding of the differences between these two traits, "Every sensitive person is different. It is important to remember that some people are empathetic, but not necessarily highly sensitive person. "

According to Dr. Aron, one in five people in the world is highly sensitive person. "Being a person with high sensitivity is genetic," he explained to The Telegraph.

Previously, this character was identified with shy and introverted people, but Aron's observations indicate that today extroverts can have high sensitivity. That explains why few people like to express their feelings and anxiety to the public or the people they know.

To assess whether a person is highly sensitive person or not, Dr. Aron listed a few questions on HSPerson's site, some of which are "are you easily distracted by blinding light, strong smell, rough cloth, or siren sound," "do you feel pressured when you have to do things in a short time" you avoiding violent films, "" do you have a rich and complicated life, "and" whether as a child your parent or teacher thinks you are shy and sensitive ".

Having a high sensitivity seems to bring a positive and negative effects for someone. Consideration in deciding a thing is never separated from what is felt highly sensitive person. Launched from WebMD's website, researchers from Stony Brook University, New York and Southwest University in China found the fact that people of this nature needed more time to make decisions and time alone to think.

They are also serious about remembering details like birthdays. Their study, published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, also points out it's not that highly sensitive people spend longer time paying attention to the photos they make as tests because they highlight the details.

In terms of relations, apparently highly sensitive people tend to fall in love with narcissistic people. Author of Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness, Deborah Ward, explains in the Psychology Today website that a narcissistic person often uses his or her charisma to cheat in order to get what he wants even if it will hurt others. On the other hand, when relating to a narcissistic person, a very sensitive person will think, the greater the effort to pay attention to the partner, the relationship will last them. This makes the energy of a very sensitive person precisely sucked instead of getting reciprocal attention.

In the midst of casual intercourse, highly sensitive people prefer to avoid conflict and criticism. Why? Unlike the majority of people who do not have this trait, highly sensitive person will make criticism as personal even if those who do so do not intend to attack her personally. Mismanagement, remorse and guilt will haunt highly sensitive individuals longer when troubled by problems or conflicts. Therefore, he will choose to please the people around him in the hope of avoiding the things that drop the mood or even make depression.

In the professional world, especially management level, high sensitive nature can be seen like two sides of the coin. The advantage is that people with these traits can build positive relationships with their peers, while the downside, he has the potential to be overwhelmed and depressed while working in a rare environment without criticism and input, White and Chapman (1997) writes in Organizational Communication: An Introduction to Communication and Human Relations Strategies.

Although often branded as a whiny, exaggerated, and identified with a series of other negative characteristics, a person with high sensitivity need not desperately change himself to one hundred and eighty degrees. Instead, this trait should be accepted and controlled because the weak side can be managed to be a force for certain contexts.

"If you are a highly sensitive person, you do not need to 'heal' yourself. That is your true. In the context of a particular society, being a very sensitive person is a positive thing, for example, research findings in Thailand and India are relatively acceptable to people of this nature, "Dr. Zeff.

It is important for a person to recognize the qualities within him, and furthermore, accept it as the part that makes it authentic. When around consider this property to carry a significant constraint, no need to hastily cursed themselves. It may only be necessary to control this trait, or it is not possible, the pool is not the right pool for him.

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